We have a great keeper who is very chatty behind the stumps.  This is not a problem in itself as he sets the 'pace' for fielding and helps to stop the game from drifting during the quieter periods but he only has 3 or 4 lines!

We want to help out (not least as it gets annoying after 3 hours in the field  ) so has anyone got some chat that we can suggest to him?

Anything is an option no matter how absurd!

Ok, I've got one. If a batsmen is constantly sweeping your spinner, you say to him "Oi Mate, the cleaner wants his broom back". Thats one I stole straight from Warnie

Volvo drivers drive better than this guy! Very lame, but I made it up so what can you expect

Anymore? 

Maybe you should get The Sledger's Handbook: How to Deliver the Perfect Cricketing Insult. Its on amazon here

I may do but it's more for just the general things to say rather than specific sledges, he's a very excitable guy but needs more variations!

So what type of chat do you want, give us an example 

"More leaves than a tree"
"Hey, this guy really sucks"

***After retaliation*** "It's not our fault you're sh*t"

Anything really, just stuff that your keeper may say.  It's just to help break up the stuff he normally comes out with.

We played St Barts Medical College the other day. One of our blokes came up with 'this guy cut like a surgeon' 

Kinda relies on your team playing medical students though... 

well being a Wicket Keeper myself i have to say it really depends on the batsmen at the crease.

and in all fairness i dont sledge the batsmen i usually taunt them by heckling the bowler.

For example, if a batsmen trys to smash our slow non spinner out the ground, i'll shout "come on then Julie show him the slower ball" or if he keeps missing the ball when its turning, we shout the opposite! "show him the one that turns"

a classic is "somebody call Stanstead (Airport) let them know Hugh is bowling" all about confusing the batsmen and not letting him know whats coming next? i dont like it when wicket keepers sledge batsmen and its personal!

one keeper last week was commenting on my Aero Pads. He started taking the mick, calling them hockey pads. then heckling. I turned round to him and told him to shut the F up and get on with his Job! his slips were creasing up!